Filming Vicki, Blackmailing Her & Ruining Her Marriage
Look, cheating is wrong, ok. This isn’t supposed to exonerate Vickie for cheating on Edge with the Big Show. After all, cheating on someone with the Big Show is fairly unforgivable.But the way Big Match John handled this whole situation is fairly creepy and vile. Basically, John wanted a shot at Edge’s World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania. He wanted it, and was determined to get it. His plan: get some friends to rig up a hidden camera in Vickie Guerrero’s private quarters (gross), film her making a tongue breakfast with The Big Show (gross), blackmail her with the tape so that she puts him in the match (gross), lie and tell Edge that he’s in love with Vickie (what?), then reveal the tape anyway, despite Vickie giving John what he wanted.
Look, cheating is wrong, ok. This isn’t supposed to exonerate Vickie for cheating on Edge with the Big Show. After all, cheating on someone with the Big Show is fairly unforgivable.But the way Big Match John handled this whole situation is fairly creepy and vile. Basically, John wanted a shot at Edge’s World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania. He wanted it, and was determined to get it. His plan: get some friends to rig up a hidden camera in Vickie Guerrero’s private quarters (gross), film her making a tongue breakfast with The Big Show (gross), blackmail her with the tape so that she puts him in the match (gross), lie and tell Edge that he’s in love with Vickie (what?), then reveal the tape anyway, despite Vickie giving John what he wanted.
Dropped Poo on AJ and Ziggler
WWE have a long and illustrious history of babyfaces being total d**ks by dropping liquids on people. The Undertaker rained blood on Mr Kennedy, DX slimed the Spirit Squad, but, when thinking about the worst substance to land on you from a great height, what’s worse than actual s**t?
Well, boiling oil I guess, or bricks, but shut up.
John Cena was feuding with the perennial also-ran of WWE, Dolph Ziggler in late 2012. AJ had recently turned heel, double-crossed John and allied herself with Dolph. Cena, furious at being treated exactly how he had treated Zack Ryder, decided that revenge is a dish best served with huge turd on it.
WWE have a long and illustrious history of babyfaces being total d**ks by dropping liquids on people. The Undertaker rained blood on Mr Kennedy, DX slimed the Spirit Squad, but, when thinking about the worst substance to land on you from a great height, what’s worse than actual s**t?
Well, boiling oil I guess, or bricks, but shut up.
John Cena was feuding with the perennial also-ran of WWE, Dolph Ziggler in late 2012. AJ had recently turned heel, double-crossed John and allied herself with Dolph. Cena, furious at being treated exactly how he had treated Zack Ryder, decided that revenge is a dish best served with huge turd on it.
AAing An Exhausted Seth Rollins
This is the most recent entry on the list. At Night of Champions last month, Seth Rollins was being forced to wrestle two matches, back to back, to close out the show. Why? Because his boss is one of WWE’s biggest heels … and so is Seth… yeah it doesn’t really add up.
Rollins was given one of the most underdog babyface missions handed out in the last few years, and so, with there being an opening on the card for a giant bastard, Cena leapt at the opportunity.
Cena and Rollins wrestled a hellacious match, up there with their SummerSlam stunner a month previous, which ended with Cena beating Rollins to regain his US Championship. Despite having wrestled for ocer 15 minutes, Seth was told he had to fight again immediately.
Understandably pissed at this decision, Seth picked up his title and waved off the match. Cena stopped him, despite his business for the night having been concluded, and forced Rollins to stay, by giving him an Attitude Adjustment, on the concrete floor.
This is the most recent entry on the list. At Night of Champions last month, Seth Rollins was being forced to wrestle two matches, back to back, to close out the show. Why? Because his boss is one of WWE’s biggest heels … and so is Seth… yeah it doesn’t really add up.
Rollins was given one of the most underdog babyface missions handed out in the last few years, and so, with there being an opening on the card for a giant bastard, Cena leapt at the opportunity.
Cena and Rollins wrestled a hellacious match, up there with their SummerSlam stunner a month previous, which ended with Cena beating Rollins to regain his US Championship. Despite having wrestled for ocer 15 minutes, Seth was told he had to fight again immediately.
Understandably pissed at this decision, Seth picked up his title and waved off the match. Cena stopped him, despite his business for the night having been concluded, and forced Rollins to stay, by giving him an Attitude Adjustment, on the concrete floor.
Cena Loves Beating Up Middle Aged Civilians
There are few things John Cena enjoys more than slowly and methodically kicking the piss out old men who have no business being in a wrestling ring. In the last 5 years alone, Cena has rained pain on at least 3 old dudes who are not professional fighters, and tried to do it to a fourth.
In 2011, he knocked around Michael Cole for what felt like 3 hours before covering him in BBQ sauce. It was a slow-motion murder, traveling beyond ‘funny’ into ‘deeply uncomfortable’. Cole was scared, hurt and John was 56 times stronger than him, yet Cena dragged the beating out for so long.
In 2012, he performed a similar autopsy on Jon Laurinaitis at the Over The Limit PPV. Again, Big Jonny was no nice guy, but did that mean we had to watch Cena methodically dissect the 47 year-old man for 14 long minutes? Cena slapped the non-wrestler around, locked him in submissions holds, toyed with him like a predator. It was like watching a lion eat a zebra. An old one.
In 2014, John Cena, unable to control his temper, locked Paul Heyman in an office and told him that he was going fight him later in the night. Again, this was despite Heyman being a non-wrestler and, again, despite Cena supposedly having a higher moral code. If Brock hadn’t intervened, Cena would have beaten up a 49 yr old civilian on live TV. And this isn’t even taking into account the time in 2004 when Cena forced Paul to eat a bar of soap.
In 2015, John Cena dropped Jon Stewart with an AA. Jon Stewart is 52. Sure, he cost Cena his SummerSlam match, but he apologised, explained his reasons and certainly posed no physical threat to the Doctor of Thuganomics. Yet, wham, down he went.
There are few things John Cena enjoys more than slowly and methodically kicking the piss out old men who have no business being in a wrestling ring. In the last 5 years alone, Cena has rained pain on at least 3 old dudes who are not professional fighters, and tried to do it to a fourth.
In 2011, he knocked around Michael Cole for what felt like 3 hours before covering him in BBQ sauce. It was a slow-motion murder, traveling beyond ‘funny’ into ‘deeply uncomfortable’. Cole was scared, hurt and John was 56 times stronger than him, yet Cena dragged the beating out for so long.
In 2012, he performed a similar autopsy on Jon Laurinaitis at the Over The Limit PPV. Again, Big Jonny was no nice guy, but did that mean we had to watch Cena methodically dissect the 47 year-old man for 14 long minutes? Cena slapped the non-wrestler around, locked him in submissions holds, toyed with him like a predator. It was like watching a lion eat a zebra. An old one.
In 2014, John Cena, unable to control his temper, locked Paul Heyman in an office and told him that he was going fight him later in the night. Again, this was despite Heyman being a non-wrestler and, again, despite Cena supposedly having a higher moral code. If Brock hadn’t intervened, Cena would have beaten up a 49 yr old civilian on live TV. And this isn’t even taking into account the time in 2004 when Cena forced Paul to eat a bar of soap.
In 2015, John Cena dropped Jon Stewart with an AA. Jon Stewart is 52. Sure, he cost Cena his SummerSlam match, but he apologised, explained his reasons and certainly posed no physical threat to the Doctor of Thuganomics. Yet, wham, down he went.
Beating Up Opponents After They Say I Quit
Literally the entire point of an I Quit match is that the pain stops when someone say I Quit. You have to stop hurting them or the stipulation has no meaning. It’s like torturing someone for information, the person spills the beans, then the torturer keeps going. There’s no justification to it.
Of course Cena’s done it … twice.
Johnny Boy was fighting JBL in an I Quit match at Judgment Day 2005. Both men were a bloody mess and it’s fair to say that they had enacted enough vengeance on each other for one night. Cena, with eyes full of mania and bloodlust, ripped a huge pipe off a truck and was about to batter JBL with it when the villainous Texan quit.
Despite JBL begging him off, Cena hit him with the pipe anyway.
Literally the entire point of an I Quit match is that the pain stops when someone say I Quit. You have to stop hurting them or the stipulation has no meaning. It’s like torturing someone for information, the person spills the beans, then the torturer keeps going. There’s no justification to it.
Of course Cena’s done it … twice.
Johnny Boy was fighting JBL in an I Quit match at Judgment Day 2005. Both men were a bloody mess and it’s fair to say that they had enacted enough vengeance on each other for one night. Cena, with eyes full of mania and bloodlust, ripped a huge pipe off a truck and was about to batter JBL with it when the villainous Texan quit.
Despite JBL begging him off, Cena hit him with the pipe anyway.
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